It's the most wonderful time of year for parents- back to school time! Whether you stay at home or work all day, it's time again to have eight worry-free hours while the kiddos are at school. You get your home back, your routine back and perhaps a little bit of your sanity while those little joys are away at school, sports, etc. There is no doubt that during the summer months having kids at home of any age can be a real buzz kill for romance. Perhaps you and your partner found ways to connect during the chaos of kiddos in summertime but if you're like most- you probably let the lovin' fall by the wayside. That's okay. It's normal. It happens.
If this is you, then you're probably getting ready to face the awkwardness of reconnecting physically after your summer dry-spell. Here are a few tips to make re-igniting that flame go smoothly.
1. Address the issue as adults. Pick a time when you're in a neutral to good mood and on neutral turf. Let your partner know that you've noticed it's been a while and now it's time to do something about it. That looks something like this: "Hey honey, I realize it's been a while since we've been intimate. Let's try to reconnect soon."
2. Make reconnecting a priority by making a plan together. Schedule a time when the two of you can be comfortable and not rushed and decided what you'll do (shower or bathing together or reading erotica aloud while the other gives a foot rub are a couple of suggestions). Depending on what you choose to do you may only need 15 minutes of uninterrupted time.
3. Focus on sensuality not intercourse. When the time comes and the two of you are together focus on touching and feeling each other either through whole palm caresses, playing with pressure of rubs, and kissing. If the awkwardness between the two of you is high, you might want to try just touching and rubbing over the clothes before moving to bare skin or genital areas.
4. Be appreciative. Let your partner know that you are grateful for them and are happy to be able to share this part of life with him or her.
5. Repeat as often as desired! If your activity leads to sex the first time- great! But keep in mind that this is about moving through the uncomfortableness of going without passionate touch for an extended period of time and learning to interact again sexually and sensually. Be mindful that this may take a couple of times before you or your partner is ready for sex.
I'd love to know what creative activities you and your partner come up with! Feel free to post in the comments below. And as always, if trying this out leads to hurt feelings, or fights please consider counseling to help resolve your issues before things get out of hand.
Happy humping!
